One year of Beck-related Facebook statuses

- I think today I shall lose some weight. Off to the hospital. August 13, 2009 at 6:36am

- After a fun time with labor and my heart freaking out, beckarino was pulled out by c section. 6 lbs 12 oz. 20 1/4 inches. August 14, 2009 at 7:58am

- wow, 80-something notifications! this kid really must be cute. :) August 15, 2009 at 9:06am

- my mommy left me. August 25, 2009 at 4:46pm

- When I sneeze, my guts don't shoot out of my incision. So I got that. August 29, 2009 at 10:55am

- who switched out my baby for this grumpy one? August 31, 2009 at 8:17pm

- when is the tape that's on my incision supposed to come off? i'm scared to peel it off. i'd probably throw up, causing it to open, causing my guts to fall out, and then i would throw up and pass out. and die. September 3, 2009 at 9:17pm

- Can I please have a nighttime nanny? September 8, 2009 at 9:39am

- beck, stop PEEING on your mother when she's changing you!! but keep peeing on your dad. September 10, 2009 at 5:18pm

- i just got 100 prints of the baby announcements i designed, and i might have written the wrong length. oopsie. September 16, 2009 at 5:18pm

- i don't think beck's gonna sleep through the night at 8 weeks like baby wise says he should. but i'll keep hoping. September 22, 2009 at 10:56pm

- not looking forward to being a single parent all night. September 24, 2009 at 11:10pm

- Beck might have just had his first real smile. I can't be certain...ha. September 27, 2009 at 7:01pm

- Someone got his two month shots. Most moms say they cry when their baby gets shots, but I just laughed cause he's so cute. Even when he cries. Unless it's during the night. Or inconsolable. October 19, 2009 at 6:02pm

- I ♥ baby Beck. He's the cutest baby in the worldddd. October 22, 2009 at 11:10am

- I try to teach beck espanol but it's limited...hola! Donde esta el bano? Gracias amigo. Adios. That covers the important phrases. November 2, 2009 at 11:44pm

- The grossest blowout yet had me gagging, using five wipes, and throwing away the pajamas. November 3, 2009 at 2:15pm

- today i'm thankful for a healthy, happy baby even though he drools and spits up on me. November 12, 2009 at 8:33am

- I'm thankful that Beck didn't wake me up until NINE FORTY-FIVE! November 24, 2009 at 10:56am

- Happy four months, Beck Man. December 13, 2009 at 3:06pm

- I might have painted Beck's toenails red tonight. December 24, 2009 at 1:14am

- Typing one handed is hard and annoying. December 27, 2009 at 9:41pm

- How do you keep a napping baby NAPPING?? Tell me now. December 30, 2009 at 3:29pm

- It's safe to say Beck is going to be an only child. December 30, 2009 at 10:01pm

- G'ma Virginia while talking about Beck: He's coolin'...isn't that the word? Me: Chillin'? Virgie: Chillin'! January 4 at 11:55pm

- ‎37-minute naps make me very mad. but i like illiteration. January 18 at 1:34pm

- Beck peed on himself twice yeasterday, making it into his eye both times. He didn't think it was a big deal. January 19 at 12:26pm

- yesterday. typing one handed here. January 19 at 12:27pm

- I think tomorrow I shall paint Beck's toenails again. Get over it. January 19 at 10:17pm

- Beck's favorite thing to do is to stick his mouth on my chin. It's gross but very funny. January 26 at 1:01pm

- can anyone please explain to beck that 30 minute naps aren't gonna work? he won't listen to me. January 28 at 3:49pm

- i don't wanna jinx myself or anything, but beck has been sleeping for an hour and a half. knock on wood. January 29 at 12:34pm

- one of beck's favorite things is to bash my face with his head. not my fave. February 3 at 12:12pm

- happy half birthday to beck!! February 13 at 10:46am

- pretty sure beck is cutting a tooth! we wondered because he was screaming away... February 15 at 6:46pm

- Does Beck like bananas? No. No he does not. February 21 at 12:05pm

- i feel superior to you because i make my own baby food. wait, no, i'm just more granola than you. that's the correct phrase. i feel kind of proud of my mushes: pear, mango, and almost-done squash. ew squash. March 4 at 10:19pm

- What's the deal with always telling your kid's age in months? When Beck is 10, I'm going to call him my 120 month old. And when people ask me my age, I will now say 297 months. March 7 at 3:44pm

- I always thought it was stupid when people posted their kid's picture as their profile picture. I have become that person. March 23 at 12:40am

- Help. Why would Beck scream his head off at night but take naps fine? He was an awesome sleeper, but he just flipped a switch two nights ago. March 31 at 9:45am

- There must be a baby other than Beck in his room cause my monitor is crying. April 1 at 12:34pm

- Oh no, I'm gonna have to wake up with my own kid tomorrow morning since my mom will be pumping some weaklings up. Well crap. April 21 at 10:59pm

- beckjustrippedthespacebaroffmylaptopyay May 11 at 5:06pm

- happy four years to us. happy nine months to beck! May 13 at 3:09pm

- This morning Beck's diaper fell out of his pant leg. That was weird. June 17 at 9:06pm

- Tonight I'm spending my first night away from Beck. I cried when I told him goodbye. June 23 at 10:35pm

- Beck and I just had a talk. I asked him to stay my baby forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. I think he agreed. July 12 at 4:55pm

- It's Beck's last month birthday, if that's what you call it. Happy eleven months, my baby man. July 13 at 9:07am

- Don't tell Matt, but Beck just put his hand in his poop, then put it on Matt's xbox controller... July 15 at 5:14pm

- Some things that have happened recently: 1. Matt attempted to drive into the garage with his bike on top of my car; 2. Beck threw up for the first time, and it was in a store. So I got on my hands and knees and cleaned it all up from the carpet with wet wipes. I probably won't be allowed back. I think that's all for now. July 19 at 4:33pm

- a sick baby is a sad baby. July 21 at 11:04am

- Beck just took a couple steps, and Matt and I had matching shocked faces. August 8 at 7:11pm

- Beck's baby car seat is out, and his big kid car seat is in. Aw, bittersweet. August 10 at 11:18pm

- Today Beck played in the toilet water. First time of many, I presume. August 12 at 7:55pm